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The damage that religion does

I often talk with people in my neighbourhood who are very critical and sceptical about religion and especially Christianity. Recently yet again, I sat around a table talking with some friends and the topic of Christianity came up. Each person shared a story about how they had either personally experienced a time or heard about infamous cases where Christianity had done more damage than good. They gave honest, heartfelt expression to the guilt, shame and sheer perversion that Christianity had caused in the situations they spoke about. Usually when I hear these kinds of stories, I find it hard to verbalise any excuses or give good reasons as to why the religion that I practise has frequently grieved our society so. I just sit there nodding “Yes, I know” or alternatively, shaking my head “No, I don’t know why”. Sometimes it’s just an apologetic “I’m sorry”.

When I use the term religion, of course I mean false religion, in other words, religion that has become the opposite of what it is supposed to be. The word religion is not a bad word, however it has been practiced so terribly frequently, that it normally has a negative connotation when we use it today.

Religion can ground our spirituality and give purpose and meaning to our lives. I also recognise that religion has done a lot of good in our world. You’d be silly not to recognise that.

But it has also done damage to people who are my friends.

Sometimes I talk with those who are open to hearing me even though I represent a religion that has done them and our society damage, and simply tell them about Jesus. And when I do that, there is a clear shift in the atmosphere from tension to trust and I am left wondering yet again why there is often massive dissonance between Jesus and the community that is meant to represent him.

When I think about Jesus I think of pure, unconditional love. He loved people with such a sense of abandon that it killed him. To love with perfection, to give of oneself not from a “martyr complex”, not out of a posture of defeat or resignation but simply because of humanity’s sheer and utter worth regardless of our failings, that is love.

This is what some of the religious people in Jesus’ day simply could not do and it’s the same today. They were and we can be wedded to pragmatism, control and so religion can become a shell that insulates us from being truly human.

Jesus was truly Human.

How do we choose this kind of humane love everyday rather than practicing a false religion? Seems to me this is the point of Christianity-to abandon ourselves to love everyday. But we fall short.

Recently, a friend hugged me. My friend smelt like he had not washed for a long time due to being homeless and I also knew that he had an infectious disease. I hugged him back but shamefully, I felt a tinge of resistance in me as I returned the hug. The thought ran through my head, “Would I catch his disease?” There was a thread of self-protection and discomfort in me and I held back slightly.

I don’t think Jesus would think like that. He would have hugged my friend with sheer abandon and not have cared if he caught a disease or whether my friend smelt bad. This is love. It’s not caring about the consequences because you see such worth in people. You can look past the dirt, bad smells, failings, weaknesses and sickness.

Jesus sided with the marginalised and the outcasts and he became poor. He did this not as a strategy to convince us of his love but because he preferred the company of the humble and weak. He avoided what the world calls extraordinary and preferred to walk alongside the ordinary, seeing them as spectacular. His presence sanctifies the unlovable. Jesus does not exemplify control, pragmatism and inhumanity instead, Jesus is the embodiment of good religion.

This is what we will need to emulate if we are going to help people see that religion is not in fact a dirty word. This is the kind of practice we will need to model if we are going to redeem ourselves today.

 

 

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How do we get focus and stillness in an age of social media distraction?

 

(photo by Antoine Greiger)

Almost every week on the social media feeds there is some issue that makes a claim on our attention and demands our focus. Almost every week on social media I feel compelled to engage in whatever the issue is at that particular time. I feel like I am missing out, being lazy or just not keeping up with current debates, controversies and intricate changes in ideologies if I don’t engage. People have always been interested in keeping up with the latest topics of the day so there is nothing unusual about this. However, what has changed is the rapid rate at which all the information is coming to us and the possibility for anyone and everyone to make continual public responses about the information we are receiving. Many of us feel that we have to keep up, but of course the frustration is that we can’t. Continue reading How do we get focus and stillness in an age of social media distraction?

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Just another homeless person

Photo by Tim Ritchie

“You probably think I’m just another one of those homeless people. Just another bum sleeping on the street.”

This is how my new friend Matt reacted when we were introduced to each other recently. I have passed by many times through the laneway where Matt sleeps to get to the other side of my neighbourhood and we usually nod a hello but had never formally met. Everyone knows Matt. On his good days he is a keeper of the laneway, a concierge and a help to any lost tourist strolling the streets of my neighbourhood.  On his not so good days, when he is more disoriented, we notice it and the community struggles with his unhinged behaviour. Continue reading Just another homeless person

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The invisible older woman

 

My work has led me to interact and become friends with an 81 year old woman in my community.

For a project our team is working on, we had to take a photo of my new friend. The photograph was professional, well-shot and stylistically near perfect, but I knew she would hate it.

In the photo my friend is sitting on a patterned sofa, not smiling or looking at the camera. The background shows the hundreds of paintings and trinkets she has on her walls which add to the comfortable congestion, clutter and quirkiness of her home. However, in the photo she seems to blend into those walls and become inanimate, even a non-person perhaps. She doesn’t stand out but rather grafts onto the detail of the wallpaper. Ironically, she is invisible in that photo. Continue reading The invisible older woman

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Six questions to ask yourself for living a meaningful life

When I ask people the question, “What is the most important thing in life to you?” or “What makes you happy?” most talk about their relationships, family and health.

However, many will at some stage of the conversation tell me that what matters is living a meaningful life. When I ask them what that means, they will talk about how getting involved in the bigger picture by contributing to the common good is crucial for a meaningful or well-lived life.  Continue reading Six questions to ask yourself for living a meaningful life

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The Subversive Act of Hugging

 

 

Sometimes it’s the smallest things that can undermine a whole social system.

There is a video on social media of a Muslim man who stands on the street blindfolded, arms outstretched, with a sign at his feet that reads;

I’m Muslim and people call me a terrorist. Do you trust me? If yes hug me.

He stands there waiting for people to approach him. Slowly people take turns in embracing the man. Older men, younger women, children, all initiate hugs. Then we see a woman holding a newborn baby approach him and hug him, a man in a wheelchair hugs him. It’s incredibly heart-warming to watch.  Continue reading The Subversive Act of Hugging

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Hygge and the Longing for Home

 

 

It seems like everywhere I go today I hear about Hygge.

Hygge is the latest craze to hit our trend-obsessed world surpassing mindfulness and happiness as the medicine which will soothe our troubled souls in a weary, tumultuous world.

It’s yet another gift given to us by Scandinavians, the people who are apparently the happiest in the world, or so the statistics tell us. Either that, or it is a very clever marketing strategy designed to get us all to move there.  Continue reading Hygge and the Longing for Home

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Getting rid of Christian labels and calling out sexism

 

 

At a lecture on gender some time ago I said

Christians have become much too obsessed in discussing matters around gender which circulate around whether, for example, women can preach in the church, whether they can lead men, whether we are complementarians or egalitarians, whether women can write songs and if that can be defined as teaching, whether women can teach men over 18 or not, the issues around the lack of men connecting with the church, and the perceived feminisation of the church….I’m asking whether our focus has become so inward that we have neglected to notice that there is a world full of people who are asking serious questions about and are struggling around the issue of gender. And not only a world out there but within the church — where people also are concerned with gender issues that run very deep, which touch the core of our personal identity. It’s these deep issues that surface from the subconscious when Christians discuss the details of ecclesiology and gender that I mentioned before. 

I was reminded of this when reading an excellent article by Anglican minister Erica Hamence on domestic violence and complementarianism. Erica does a great job of sharing her personal reflections around the link that people frequently make between between this Christian theological position based around a particular reading of scripture, and also the horror of domestic violence. Complementarianism sets prescribed roles for men and women in marriage and the church, where the male takes on a leadership role and the female is the supporter. Erica does not shy away from saying that there can be a link between this theology and violence, however there does not necessarily have to be. All theologies can be abused no matter how pure they might be in theory.

There is a lot more to say on this topic however, the point I want to make here is that these kinds of labels that Christians frequently use, are masks that cover up the issue that we actually need to be talking about and fighting against together.

That issue is sexism.

Sexism is the practice of marginalising, subjugating, abusing women and reinforcing the patriarchal narrative that exists in our world. Sexism is practiced by many complementarians and egalitarians. I have experienced sexism from both camps. It is something that runs much deeper than these labels we use in Christian circles and is ingrained into the very fabric of our being. In fact, the labels can distract us from noticing this deeper problem that pervades all of our society which we desperately need to address.

Sexism is what we need to take a stand against because it is not what God intended for our world.

The echo-chamber church discussions around the intricacies of  “complementarianism” and “egalitarianism” mean very little to most people in our world and push us further away from crucial discussions we could otherwise be engaging in.

Why don’t we stop using those terms and instead unite and come together to fight against what really matters?

What is important is the restoration and reconciliation of our world which is longing for freedom.

Sexism does not belong in the new order that Jesus Christ has ushered in through his death and resurrection so let’s together call it out when we see it, and then work out how to sow gardens of reconciliation in our world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Things only religious women hear

Last night I went to Susan Carland’s book launch in Sydney. She has written a book called Fighting Hislam which is about standing against a patriarchal interpretation of Islam. She has interviewed Muslim women in Australia and North America about their experiences of sexism in their religion.

 

 

 

 

What makes this book interesting is that Carland says people are wrong in thinking Islam is sexist and patriarchal.

Continue reading Things only religious women hear

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Practicing peace-making conversations in a polarised world

This recent photo caught my attention.

 

It is of 16-year-old Lucie Myslíková, a girl scout who is standing up to a rightwing demonstrator a May Day rally held by neo-Nazis  in the Czech Republic’s second biggest city.

It reminded me of this photo also taken recently.

 

And now this iconic one.

 

Continue reading Practicing peace-making conversations in a polarised world